I remember my first panic attack like it was yesterday.
I was 21, I’d just finished a normal days work and was sat at the bus stop to go home. A haze came over me, my vision tunnelled, my heart raced and my hands shook. Nausea, sweats, just sheer terror. At the time I had no idea this would be my life for the next 18 years.
The trigger? I just passed my driving test, first time! And a few nights before this I had used my mums car, the first time I decided to go out on my own, and it was dark - rookie error. It was terrifying, night driving is so very different. On my way home from my venture I was only a few minutes from my house. I misjudged the traffic lights and got flashed. In my mums car. Holy actual shit. My first outing on my own and I’m going to get bloody points.
Naturally I shit myself for weeks, it never came through. But that was the start of the rest of my life…